Resting and healing after the birth of your baby is extremely important to the physical and mental health of the mother. Our culture often praises mothers that are able to pick up right where they left off cooking, cleaning, working or exercising. but they are doing their bodies and mind a serious disservice.
Rest is key in healing your body. In some cultures the traditional time period is 40 days of the mothering being cared for by loved ones. Not everyone knows how to rest and be taken care of; here are some suggestions that will help with healing and breastfeeding success.
Fourth Trimester Healing
- Stay home.
- Stay in bed and practice skin-to-skin with your baby.
- Forget about cleaning your house for at least the first week after a vaginal birth and two weeks after a c-section. You won’t remember, or care, how clean your house if you aren’t rested.
- Ask that your visitors only stay for 20-30 minutes.
- Eat nutritious foods.
- Forgo exercising for at least 6 weeks to allow your body time to heal.
- Talk to your partner about what you need. This is a transition time for both of you and without the help of clear communication it can be unnecessarily stressful.
- If you aren’t confident about letting your friends and family know your wishes consider a print out on the door asking them to limit their visit and what you need done around the house.
- Remember that these suggestions aren’t about being lazy, but a reminder that this is a time of celebration, healing.
If your friend or relative just had a baby here are some things you can do to help.
- Sign them up and spread the word about providing meals. There are a couple online sites that can help organize this for you
- When you do visit, throw in a load of laundry, do the dishes or bust out the vacuum. Don’t ask what needs to be done, just take the initiative and do a chore. If you are unsure you can say something like, “Would you rather I did the dishes, vacuum or take out the trash?”
- Don’t expect mom to play hostess to you. She might never get off the couch or be able to carry on a conversation. This has nothing to do with you or your friendship. She is healing and experiencing a wide range of hormonal changes.
- This is not the best time to have a large extended family get together to meet the new baby and have mom preparing for a party. You know how frantic some people get when trying to get ready for a large get together, think of that stress ten times over for the new mom.
- Take their other kids on an outing, even if that means for a walk around the block.
- Don’t offer to hold the baby so she can get things done. This is an important bonding time for them.
- Pamper the new mom with personal care items for her.
- Listen (just listen) to her birth story if she offers it.
- Offer your love and support without the expectation of receiving a thank you.
If you would like to learn more about the healing that goes on during the postpartum period I recommend reading:
Online
Mothering the Mother: The Importance of Postpartum Care by Rev. Pilar (Ma’at) Grant (Nov 02, 2011)
Books
Mothering the New Mother: Women’s Feelings & Needs After Childbirth: A Support and Resource Guide by Sally Placksin (Apr 20, 2000)
The Vital Touch: How Intimate Contact With Your Baby Leads To Happier, Healthier Development By Sharon Heller
Special thank you to Andrea Lythgoe for her thoughts and contributions to this post. Andrea provides experienced, professional childbirth education, doula services, and birth photography for women and families in Salt Lake and Summit Counties of Utah. You can read more about her at http://www.andrealythgoe.com/.
